Camryn went to church

We all know I am not religious in the slightest. I am all for the beliefs of anyone else. Just don’t try pushing them on me. All your hard work will get a dorr in your face.

As per my other post, my IL’s came over this weekend. On Friday night we (Shawn, me and the kids), and Camryn starts spouting off that God made the entire world and such. I asked who taught him that because neither Shawn nor I talk about religion in the house. I wasn’t upset, I was just wondering who his “teacher” was. He informs me it was a friend from school. OK, fine.

Shawn asked him if he wanted to go to church and find out all about God and decide what he wants to from that. Camryn was a OK with it. So was I, surprisingly.

When Shawn’s parents got in last night Shawn says “Oh, you guys need to bring Camryn to church tomorrow.”

They were shocked to say the least and they look at me, to see if I objected.

“I told him to tell you guys”. They were flabbergasted.

So, Camryn comes home today all happy and wanting to go to church next weekend. I don’t mind as long as he doesn’t come home one day condemning me to hell. I will put a stop to it if that ever sprouts.


I think I have a defective model

So, most of you all know my love for my mother in law (ha ha ha…he he he…). Shawn invited them over this weekend (with my blessing…I will post again with that story).

My MIL and FIL took Camryn with them this morning to church (this will be in new post). When they got home we were outside talking to them when my mother in law says (and I quote) “Camryn told me that Mommy hates someone” I cocked my eyebow and turned my head slightly too see Camryn behind me all sheepish like.

“And who is this, Camryn” I ask ever so nicely. I am thinking in my head that Camryn misinterpreted me when I had told him in the past that I didn’t believe in God. I thought MAYBE he mixed it up in his brain.

He gets all quiet and points his finger. I follow the path his tiny little finger followed.

Yup, you guessed it. It was planted right square in the middle of my MIL.

I think my face flushed to every shade of red. At one point one may not have been able to distinguish my face from my hair.

Um, no Camryn. I have said that I may DISLIKE some of Nanny’s actions, but I don’t HATE her. That is a harsh word to say”.

I stood there like a fool while my MIL was laughing. Gloating, more like it.

AND I could have shot my husband right on the spot for laughing when Camryn says this.

I REALLY need to watch my mouth from now on. My child actually DOES listen to me.

Silence….Good thing or disastrous?

You would think any mother would be happy with a little bit of silence.

No. I am not. I get scared when I haven’t heard something crash or a kid cry for longer than about 30 seconds. It is how I calculate my attack on my kids.

Loud shatter with a little crying and I run.

Mediocre crash sound and I will dry my hands and walk briskly over to the general direction of the noise.

A crash and an “Ut Oh” and I grab my phone to call 911 if necessary.

I am doing my dishes a few minutes ago. Over the running water I hear “Oh chit”. This is Holdyn new way of saying “OOPS. I did something wrong”. Not the best way of saying something, but at least I know.

I take my time drying my hands because I hear no other tell tale signs that something detrimental has happened. No shatter sound, no high pitched scream from little man, no dog running away.

What could possibly be up in there. It is too quiet.

I sneak around the corner. I poke my head in and Holdyn is trying to pull Ducky up by his shirt collar. D is going with it. Holdyn then props him up against the couch and pats him on the back just as the little one falls flat on his face and starts giggling. I still haven’t figured out what the “Oh Chit” was about, but no damage, so we are all good.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture. It takes a 6 year old 5 minutes to teach Camryn how to ride a bike with no training wheels (we tried FOREVER), and it takes a 2 freaking year old to teach my 9 month old how to stand up.

What am I doing wrong!?

First day of preschool


I woke up this morning realizing that my little monster was leaving me for 3 hours this morning. I had geared myself up for it, but I still bawled like a little baby.

Holdyn started preschool this morning. I woke him up and fed him breakfast (waffles…not the best, but he was fed and no milk to clean up off him), got him dressed, packed his backpack, and we were off to school by 8:30am.

On the way there I was choking back tears, and Holdyn is singing in the back “Cool, Cool. Me go to cool!” Brat. He was happy and I was in some serious pain!

We get to the school (only 30 seconds down the street), and I shuffled him (still singing his awesome song) and Ducky into the school. Come to find out, I was there 20 minutes earlier than we are allowed to to drop off our children, so we sat in the lobby for a few minutes. Holdyn found a basket of apples and was happily munching away on one, still singing his song.

A few minutes before it was time to drop him off, Shawn walks in the front door. I was so happy he got off his CQ duty and was able to see H-man off to his first day of school.

We sign him in and walk to the classroom and he bolts the second he sees this giant sea of toys! He didn’t know what to play with first! I held in my waterworks while we chatted with the director for a minute to see what all will happen, but the second we walk out of the room and the door closes I burst out in tears. Shawn calls me a dork and I want to punch him but there were children around. I look back into the glass part of the door and Holdyn is chattering away with a little girl who is showing him everything.

My babies are growing up too fast! I don’t know how I will handle another day of this maddness.

Take that out of your nose

My children are odd. I say that with the utmost sincerity. I still love them and always will, but I will always have this lingering thought of “Where did the weirdness gene come from”? Was it me, or was it from my oh so awesome (most days) husband who some in my family and friend’s circle, would call a, um, dork?

Most children, when born, would run away screaming and crying “cruel and unusual!” when they see the snot sucker. Those little blue bulbs that they use in the hospital to clear the neonate’s mouth out when born.

Yes, the snot sucker. It is the grandest invention, in my book. I am able to pull snot out of a screaming, writhing, infant in about 2.5 seconds. BUT, in those 2.5 seconds I also have a scratched lip, busted eye, a kick to the nose, and a burst ear drum.

My child can now breath better, so he can suck in all the necessary air to better scream in my ears. My neighbor can hear it. I’m sure my mother can hear him from 210 miles east of me.

Now, here I am farting around on my FaceBook, and Holdyn comes over to me. I take a sideways glance at him, and notice he has this huge blue mass hanging from his left nostril.

Um…OK? I think to myself “What did he get into now?” As I was standing up to go investigate farther, I now notice that it is the ingenious snot sucker. I sit back down, now realizing that nothing harmful has happened (my house IS babyproofed, but Holdyn is learning new things to get into on an hourly basis).

A few moments later, Holdyn is saying “Mom, Mom” and holding out his hand. I offer up my palm and he so generously gives me the slimiest, nastiest, greenest, and LONGEST booger that I have EVER seen come from an ADULTS nose, let alone a 21 month old’s.

Like I said. I don’t think the weirdness gene came from me. I get grossed out too easily.

Hmmm…I may have to rethink this one.

I love when my kids are good

Besides waking up at “too early” am this morning, I love my children today.  Well, I love them EVERYDAY, but today I love them more!!

I LOVE reading.  I used to read (pre-kids) on average about 5 -10 books a week.  I used to get grounded and my mother would ground me FROM MY BOOKS!  It was the WORST punishment I could fathom.  Worse than getting a belt, or making me eat her “home cooked” meals.  You would have thought my world was ending, when she tells me I am grounded and I was forced outside, squinting and crying into the beautiful sunshine with my friends.  Unsuspecting people walking past (HA!  My nearest neighbor was almost a mile away!), would have thought I was locked out with nowhere to go with the ruckus I would cause slamming my fists on the front door and smearing my snot tears with my shirt.

After having kids, I now average about 5 books a YEAR.  I am just far to busy to read and I miss is sorely.  I also am not able to keep books in my house within 4 feet of the floor because I have a 2 year old that thinks he needs extra fiber.  SO, no books for me.  If I felt up to it, I would buy a book from Amazon (my online mistress) and MAYBE (that is a GINORMOUS maybe) get 1/2 way through it before either:

1) a lovely child of mine tears it to shreds when I put it down to go pee

2) it is so boring I want to just throw it away

3) I pull a “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and do something and forget about it completly

4) The book falls behind the couch and I forget it is back there

There is  the RARE occasion now that I find a book SO intriguing that I am almost waiting for the MP’s to come knocking on my door for a “Welfare Check”.  I am ALWAYS outside, so I am sure my neighbors wonder where the heck I am when I get so encapsulated by a book.  These are such rare times in my hectic life, though.  My kids don’t make it easy on me to get in the amount of reading that I want/need to.

OK, so a few weeks ago a friend on my BabyFit site recommended a book she had read.  THANKS SASHA if you read this.  After a HUGE debacle with Barnes and Noble on their Nook for PC download I was extremely ticked off that I wasn’t able to download the book from her like I was supposed to.  I tried for almost 4 days but the system was beyond maddening.

I typed up my friend, Michelle, whom I yap at about 20 hours out of the 24 they call a day (I need more hours by the way).  She says “OH!  I have it in PDF form and will email the link to you!”  YAY!  Online BFF’s are just the greatest sometimes!  OK, always (I know she is reading this!).  She emails it to me and I forget all about it as I go about my fast life of cleaning up poop, mashed banana, and puke.

Fast forward about 3 weeks and along comes yesterday afternoon.  My house is spotless (for once), my kids are napping at the SAME TIME (that, alone, is a MAJOR feat), Camryn is at school, and I am beyond bored.  There is nothing on TV (I caught up on my Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Teen Mom, and Desperate Housewives before I even cleaned).  I have NO hard copy of books that are even remotely intriguing.

DING DING DING!  That proverbial lightbulb clicked on in my head!  I used my AWESOME search function on my GMAIL and found the link that Michelle had sent me a few weeks prior.  That was the beginning of the end for me!

I read a 366 page book, in PDF format, in less than 24 hours.  With kids running around me.  I stayed up late to do it, and it was SOOOOOO worth it.  I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I know the next time I try, my kids will be their normal, needy selfs.  Not that I mind them needing/wanting me, but I really miss being able to curl up and read a book whenever I want to.

Oh, the book I read was “The Hunger Games” and I sincerely recommend it to ANYONE.  I had Michelle send me the link the the second one in the series, but I haven’t been able to read it yet, because I had motherly duties waiting for me this afternoon.

Maybe tomorrow?  Next year?  I think I hit my quota.

It takes a website

I am an internet guru.  I can navigate Google with my eyes closed (but not without my coffee first), and I can help people with internet connectivity issues from thousands of miles away.  It is my special power.  I LOVE my special power.

SO, when I was pregnant with my middle son, Holdyn (the holy terror), it was only natural for me to turn online for answers to my questions.  Google answered them all, plus added a whole new list to my notebook pad.  I was going for a VBAC (a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), and I wanted to arm myself with the best knowledge I could get my coffee stained hands on!

I came across 2 websites are awe AWESOME for Mommies AND Moms-to-be.  A must have in your bookmarks.  2 sites you will visit MULTIPLE times a day (and by multiple I mean I have been known to be on for HOURS at a time…whoops).  My children are still alive and kicking so, I haven’t abandonded them.  Yet.

Let me tell you about them.

First there is  This site is the know all be all of baby and baby related things!  I learned about breastfeeding, babywearing (i LOVE babywearing), and a pregnant woman’s rights that their doctor or hospital doesn’t want them to know about!  A LOT of my research on VBAC came from HOURS on BabyCenter learning a bunch about this controversial subject.  I got my VBAC BTW.  I’m sure I will harp on that some other time unless asked earlier.   If you want to find me on there, I am loganmyangel.  I welcome friends!  I am not on there as much, except to read about babywearing and cloth diapering!

NOW, for my most favorite site of ALL TIME.  OMG!  I could spend the rest of my life on this site!  I have made a few lifelong friends from here.  I am a part of a few groups, some public and some private.  There are Mommy Teams (months/years that our children were born) that are SO eclectic.  There are people from my next door neighbor (almost literal in this.  No lie!  I have met her!), to New Zealand and beyond.  We have next to nothing in common (besides having children) to almost everything.  I have gotten into heated debates and in the next thread we have laughed over the stupid thing one of our husbands did.  It is great, has kept me honest, had me crying, had me laughing, all in the span of 4 or 5 pages.  We have had our claws out, waiting to rip eyes out, then 5 minutes later crying together over the loss of a complete strangers dog or cat.  I couldn’t ask for a greater group of friends, even if we neverr set eyes on each other.  I can honestly say that I would trust almost all my friends on BabyFit to watch my kids, even after having not met them in person.  It says a lot about someone’s character when you can say something like that.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, I say it takes a website.

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